How to realistically recover from a breakup

tim-marshall-114623.jpg

Let it go...litteraly. Don't avoid the crying, the screaming, the pain, and most important of all: do not hide your feelings. Only a person that is going through a breakup knows how hard it is to make other people understand the pain, that pain burning your soul, that pain so colossal, so difficult to deal with. The pain of a breakup is the same of an open wound, yes it is, but no one can see it, or feel it like you. So everyone says: "everything will be ok", "you will be fine"...it's all true -you will be fine. But it still hurts and what to do whilst hurts? 

 Cry

 Crying is your soul bleeding and you need to let that "emotional blood" come out, so it doesn't get stuck and turn into depression, suicidal thoughts, frustration-just cry. Not for anyone else, but for yourself and because is the beginning of this healing process.

Don't avoid your feelings

You are meant to be and feel sad, it's a process, and the more you avoid your feelings the more it will take to go away.

Don't pretend you don't like him/her.

You do, and that's why you're still suffering. Face things the way they are and don't blame yourself, but don't act like the victim either, because you will only feel pity for yourself and that won't help you to heal. It is difficult to admit but when a relationship fails, both of you are guilty and both of you are victims. 

Don't try to forget him/her

If your leg is bleeding, would you try to forget it? It's exactly the same.  Focus on healing instead of forgetting, because you probably won't forget. It may take months, years to forget a person that was part of your life and shared moments with you. Once you accept this it will be way easier to overcome the pain.

Talk about it

 Talk with me, friends, therapist, family, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk...as much as you can. Talking about what happened has the same effect of hearing a song we love 2000 times-you end up getting fed up of the song. It works the same with certain feelings, and in this case, just spit everything out.

Make a deadline to start living your life again.

It is important to acknowledge when are you going to stop your "emotional mourning", otherwise you will drag this feeling forever and you will become depressed. 

 Move on

It may hurt a little bit, but is like all physical wounds, that even after a while still hurt a little bit when you press your finger. One thing is for sure, it won't last forever, unless you want.

It is messed up and in schools or I don't know where ,they should teach us  how to deal with emotional pain, because we come across this pain so many times in our lives and nobody knows what to do. I hope you get better,  and if not, we're here to help.

God bless you

xx